graph TD pain[一个人孤独痛苦] --> the-need[渴望需要爱情和陪伴] the-need --> crush-on-someone[迷恋某个人] the-need --> seeking[寻找走向结婚的伴侣]
12月快到我27岁生日了，也是我面临人生重要转折点的时候。不仅是毕业和未来的工作，还有感情和婚姻的问题。无论是近期，还是我之前的整个人生，我都在这方面承受了巨大的痛苦，但因为可能不成熟，从来没有真正面对和想清楚过这些问题，要么是自怜自艾、伤害自己还自我感动，要么是充满攻击性、拒绝并鄙视探讨一切此类问题。在这个时间点上，我发现焦虑已经自然地闯进了我的这个领域，我也开始认真思考这些问题了，它们不再是玩笑，我不想一切都太晚的时候再去面对它们。
所以最近打算把自己对感情和婚姻的问题、困惑全部整理出来。对于这些问题，我会得到来自各种观点、价值观的答案，我持开放态度，都会整理在每个问题的下面，附上我对每个答案的想法和后续产生的问题。
这篇文章无法从我的主页找到，只能通过单独分享的链接访问。如果您是通过这个途径看到这篇文章，一定是我信任的并了解我情况的人，我愿意分享这些给您，希望成熟的前辈能在任何问题上指条明路，也希望我已经整理的答案启发到您共勉。如果您是陌生人朋友，那是我网站的安全工作没有做好，虽然我已经隐去了所有具体的事件只探讨宏观的问题，但讨论这种个人问题难免导致他人对我的主观判断，所以请您保护我的隐私，不要继续传播，但我欢迎您一起加入讨论这些问题。
我的思维模式
我的思维模式可以用下面的图表示：
graph TD seeking --> consider-crush[考虑我迷恋的人] crush-on-someone --> consider-crush consider-crush --> crush-not-single[迷恋的人有对象] consider-crush --> crush-single-and-dislikes-me[迷恋的人单身，不喜欢我] consider-crush --> crush-single-and-likes-me[迷恋的人单身，喜欢我] crush-not-single --> crush-not-single-being-friend[克制住所有追求的行为，以朋友相处] crush-not-single-being-friend --> waiting[等待自己迷恋的人] waiting --> pain waiting --> aging[时间流逝，我变老了] waiting --> crush-not-single-to-single[对方分手] waiting --> crush-not-single-to-marriage[对方不会分手，一直到结婚] crush-not-single-to-marriage --> stop[不再考虑此人] stop --> too-old crush-not-single-to-single --> crush-single-and-likes-me crush-not-single-to-single --> crush-single-and-dislikes-me crush-single-and-dislikes-me --> less-confidence[自信心受挫] less-confidence --> pain crush-single-and-dislikes-me --> cooling[对爱情失望，停止考虑任何感情问题] less-confidence --> cooling cooling --> crush-on-someone crush-single-and-likes-me --> pursuing[追求对方] seeking --> consider-I-like[考虑有好感的其他人] consider-I-like --> I-like-not-single[有好感的人有对象] consider-I-like --> I-like-single-and-likes-me[有好感的人单身，喜欢我] consider-I-like --> I-like-single-and-dislikes-me[有好感的人单身，不喜欢我] I-like-not-single --> stop I-like-single-and-dislikes-me --> stop I-like-single-and-dislikes-me --> less-confidence I-like-single-and-dislikes-me --> pain waiting --> wondering I-like-single-and-likes-me --> wondering[犹豫是否要追求对方] wondering --> waiting wondering --> I-like-not-single[有好感的人有对象] seeking --> consider-someone-I-dislike[考虑我没有感觉的人] consider-someone-I-dislike --> I-dislike-not-single I-dislike-not-single[没有感觉的人有对象] --> stop consider-someone-I-dislike --> I-dislike-single-and-dislikes-me[没有感觉的人单身，不喜欢我] I-dislike-single-and-dislikes-me --> stop I-like-single-and-dislikes-me --> less-confidence I-like-single-and-dislikes-me --> pain consider-someone-I-dislike --> I-dislike-single-and-likes-me[没有感觉的人单身，喜欢我] I-dislike-single-and-likes-me --> stop I-dislike-single-and-likes-me --> pursued[被对方追求] pursued --> I-dislike-single-and-likes-me-being-friend[拒绝所有暧昧行为，以朋友相处]
graph TD aging --> pressure[结婚压力越来越大] aging --> pain aging --> decrease-attractiveness[价值与吸引力下降] decrease-attractiveness --> pressure aging --> too-old[到了无法结婚的年龄] too-old --> single-forever[一辈子单身] single-forever --> suicidal-thoughts[难以承受，产生轻生念头] pressure --> seeking
graph TD
pursuing[追求对方] --> success[成功在一起]
其实这就是大多数人的情况，但是我可能比较特殊的点在于，我会对人产生迷恋。